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Who Said 'I Love You' First?
By Sarah Tanner
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When a
woman is in a relationship, she is focusing on him
and on her emotions.
Emotion is certainly present for a man, but in a different way. Men and
women each have built-in triggers which the wrong words at the wrong time
can set off.
If you set off the wrong trigger in a man, you can be almost certain that he
will be finding any excuse to head out the door to
start looking for a woman
who is not so easy to attain.
In my opinion, the woman should never be the first one to say "I love you."
You may be feeling this love for him; it may be true; and it may be true for
him. But until HE says these words to you, he is not ready for it. (Also, be
sure your BS meter is running and you aren't hearing those words in an
attempt to woo you briefly and then drop you flat. Hey, it still happens ALL
the time - and to younger and younger women and girls. That bothers me
greatly.)
When you are in the mood to say "I love you," you may be thinking that you
are willing to lay your heart on the line for a man you have fallen for.
That is a noble thought and I understand it well. And who will be feeling
really bad shortly thereafter? You will, if you make the mistake of saying
those three little words first.
When a man truly loves you and is in love with you - the kind of man you
want, that is - he wants to shout it from the housetops. He wants to show
you off to everyone. If you are not seeing THAT kind of reaction - then
distance yourself emotionally.
I'm not telling you to be rude or unkind or to even stop seeing the guy. I'm
telling you that you need to be your own best friend and protect yourself.
What's more, you need to be in the frame of mind that whether this man likes
you, loves you, or not - is not going to make or break your life!
Yes, you might get your heart broken over someone. But you know what? You
will move on. You will get over this man and find that there is more to life
than any one particular man - no matter how special he is to you. Trust me
that this is true.
Instead of focusing on how special a man is, focus on how special and unique
YOU are. Show off your best qualities by making yourself the best person you
can be, inside and outside. Trust that when the time is right for you, a
good relationship that is worth waiting for will happen in your life.
Now, for you purists out there, and I know you're out there, yes. I know
that there are men out there who will not bolt and run if you say "I love
you" first. (Gotta love those guys, too.)
However, those same men will bolt and run if you have been acting clingy and
as if your entire emotional future depends on their acceptance of your
undying love.
Besides, if you say 'I love you' first, that is kind of like peeking at the
Christmas presents. It spoils all their plans. They want to do the wooing
and pursuing - don't ever forget that. If they are not actively wooing you,
they are not interested in you.
For some readers, all of this is well known information that they already
follow in their lives. But many, many of my readers need to hear this. Being
head over heels in love makes us vulnerable - and makes us do crazy things.
One of the craziest times of all is right after a divorce - if that's your
situation, hang on to your hat - be careful.
For more advice and free emails on this subject, be sure to visit
Sarah Tanner writes about relationships and how to be
charming and irresistible to men. Check out her websites,
http://www.marriageandwealth.com, and
http://www.yourfinishingschool.com
Article Source :
www.womenbrands.com
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