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Recovery!
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Negotiating a Good Divorce Settlement
Life After Divorce- Surviving Financially
Divorce Survival Challenge... Yes! Is Your Winning
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Divorce--The Five Obstacles to Agreement
Divorce, The Hardest Thing You Have To Do
How to Go Through Divorce Unscathed
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How to Use a Divorce Lawyer
By Ed Sherman |
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You want three
things in your divorce attorney: expertise in divorce, reliability, and a
good attitude. You want a lawyer who specializes in divorce (at least 50%
of his/her case load), and unless you're expecting a no-holds-barred
battle, you want a lawyer trained in divorce mediation who practices it
professionally. Mediation-minded attorneys are more likely to give you
neutral and problem-solving advice, whereas traditional attorneys tend to
be more oriented to conflict and their advice tends to be adversarial.
Your attorney must be someone you can trust and work with comfortably,
someone who has your confidence.
Once you've found the right lawyer, here are some tips on how you can use
your attorney in ways that will make your divorce go as smoothly and
inexpensively as possible.
Using a lawyer efficiently.
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The most important thing is to be very well prepared whenever you contact
a lawyer. Know your facts, know what you want to ask about, and know exactly
what you want the lawyer to explain or do for you. Plan each conversation;
make an agenda; write down the things you want to talk about; take notes on
the content of the conversation; keep track of time spent on all phone calls
and meetings. Keep a file for all your notes and all letters and documents.
Do as much as possible on the phone and by mail to keep the office time at a
minimum.
Regard your attorney as a resource, not someone you cling to or depend on
for emotional support and stability. A lawyer is not the right person to
make your decisions or lead your life--you are. Lawyers cost too much for
you to use them for sympathy and consolation--that's what family, friends
and counselors are for.
When you talk to a lawyer, stick to the facts and don't just chat, ramble,
or complain about things your spouse did unless you actually want your
lawyer to do something about it. Don't take your anger to an attorney; you
want your best interests represented, not your emotions.
Taking control of your own case. Being in control of your own case
and your own life is the single best thing you can do in any
divorce, so it
is essential that you have a lawyer who can work cheerfully on that basis.
If you are well prepared and business like, that will help the lawyer see
that you are in charge of things, but you should actually say that's
how you want it to be.
Tell the lawyer that you want good advice and will rely on the lawyer's
experience, but that you expect to make decisions that concern the tone and
strategy of the case. Ask that you be sent copies of all documents and
letters. Let the attorney know that you expect phone calls to be answered by
the next working day. These little things let the lawyer know you are the
boss. After all, you pay the bills.
Using a lawyer for specific tasks. Instead of hiring a lawyer to get
you a divorce, it may be far more cost-effective to use the lawyer just for
information or advice on specific subjects. That may be all the legal help
you will need. If not, you can always go back for more help later. After you
have organized all your facts and read about how the law works in your case,
if you still have questions about the law or what the likely outcome will be
in your county, write all your questions down and ask a lawyer.
You may decide to have a lawyer help with your marital settlement agreement,
either to draft one or just to check over one you have made yourself. If you
get stuck or confused at any point in your divorce, that's a good time to go
for help. The more specific and prepared you can be, the more you will get
for your money.
My book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better explains
the process of divorce so you can become well-informed, and is full of
information to help you get organized and prepared before you see a lawyer.
It even includes worksheets to help gather all your information together.
You will also find lots of practical advice on how to deal with your
emotions during divorce, and an example of a marital settlement agreement
that will help you create your own. For more information, go to .
Article Source :
www.womenbrands.com
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