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Unspoken expectations. These are the silent killers that tear down
communication, destroy intimacy and leave our love lives unfulfilling.
We all expect our partners to be psychic and know exactly what we want. Stop and think how silly this is.
If
we take some time to explore what our idea of the 'perfect
relationship' is, often we'll find things that our lover doesn't do.
The problem begins when we silently expect our partner to know.
Suddenly we become aware of resentment that has been building and this creates tension in the relationship.
It
is vital to effectively communicate to our partners the things we feel
show love. I have seen great progress in my own relationship with my
wife by taking an hour to write down what we both envision as a perfect
day together. It is amazing what you can learn about your partner by
doing this. You will find subtle nuances of their character you never
knew before. Another great thing to do with your partner is to
both write a list of 5 things your partner can do that will help you in
the day to day routine and make you feel loved. These can be simple
household chores, expressive gestures, ways of
communicating...basically anything that if your partner did it, you'd
feel they were really proving their love. Take each list and put them
both on your refrigerator and resolve to follow your task list every
day.
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