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Relationship Advice: Should I Stay or Should I Go

By Jeff Herring 
 

When problems develop, it's natural for couples to wonder if they should get out of a relationship. In my experience, many people are a little to quick to get out, when they could learn a lot by working on the relationship and working things out.

Many people mistakenly think that if they get out of a relationship, then their problems are solved and they can move on.

Geographical relationship cure

I call this a geographical relationship cure. Just because you change who you are with, all your problems will not be solved.

Usually the opposite happens.

If you don't deal with the essential issues that damaged the relationship, it's quite likely those same issues will pop up in the next relationship.

  

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You may choose a completely different package, but the contents will be very similar.

A stinking analogy

An analogy would be not to bathe for a week, and then put on fresh clothes in hopes that the clothes will solve the problem.The clothes may be brand new, but eventually they are going to stink too.

Some important issues to consider here would be:

  • Have you kept your commitments, both to your partner and to the relationship?

  • Have you done all you said you would do?

  • What kind of influence are you on your partner? Are they better off as a result of being with you?

    It sometimes comes down to the Ann Landers question:

    "Are you better off with or without this person?"

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